Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Day 48 - I am conscentious

I am high in my values and morals. I believe in being kind, being loving, treating others the way they want to be treated, I respect those with different values as long as they don’t hurt others. I have a big radar for what is wrong and what is right. Now in spiritual beliefs nothing is ever wrong, but I don’t feel like disgarding hate, war, murder, rape and all that stuff in the world. It is something I cannot possibly imagine being right. I am sure you get my speech in this.
As a person I wanna do right in this world. I am not perfect. I have shadow sides just as I have my light self. And everyone has that. They say there isn’t light without shadow. And vice versa.
Today I had to go do something that was difficult for me. I really do not like calling in sick. I know that it’s better to take care of my recovery instead of just forcing myself going into the day and doing everything I’m supposed to do.
However it is hard for me. My mind wants to trick me into thinking it is wrong not to continue and I know exactly where these beliefs stern from. MY old patterns. Somehow I still need to work on reprogramming my mind that it’s not WRONG to rest for recovery.

Saturday, January 7, 2017

Day 47 – I am kind

I believe in doing kind things for other people every day.
The great thing about doing these kind things is that it is always a win win.
It makes the other person feel great, and I feel great that I am able to do something for someone. Probably the most touching encounter is the one that I had with a lady in the supermarket. There was an older woman who was barely capable of still doing the groceries herself. As she stood in line to pay, she found out she was only one euro short of being able to pay for all her groceries. I looked in my wallet and I had exactly one euro in cash. I gave it to her and said: I found exactly one euro, and I believe it is meant to be for you -
She got teary eyed. “Oh dear, so there are still good fairies in this world after all!” She said, smiling. She asked for my adress because she wanted to send me a postcard. “Oh no, miss, you really don’t have to do that as nice as it would be. In my opinion, it is what every decent human being is supposed to do for another in need’ I told her.
I left feeling buzzed. I had touched this lady’s heart on a deeper level than I could possibly imagine with a simple act of kindness. Way at the beginning of this journey, I talked about the lady who came upto me at the busstop with her story. For me, that is still one of the highlights of this journey.
 I just love being able to help. It makes me feel connected to other souls in this world.
Today I had the opportunity to help a blind lady on the bus. I lead her to a seat so that she could sit in a bus that was really packed with people. (Again, with the why did nobody get up to help out?)
I also helped my Syrian friend move his stuff to our town. He is so happy that he has his appartment in our town now. He’s been wanting to live here for a long time now.

Day 46 – I am spontanous

I am not exactly the kind of person who plans out her every day for the whole week. I want to leave room for these kind of spontanous things.  Life wouldn’t be much fun for me having every single minute of the day planned out.
Life is so much more exciting when you leave space for being spontanous.
I remember that one time I booked a spontanous trip to Berlin. I felt like I wanted to travel and get out and had my journey planned within 30 minutes.
This is how I like to live right now.
Sometimes I think how much I would love being a mom. I hope when I decide to have a kid I can still hold onto being spontanous. It would probably end up in me doing spontanous activities with kids.
Anyhow that is a plan for the future.

I called my friend that I hadn’t seen in a long time to have a spontanous cup of tea at a nice cosy cafe. Usually it takes us a few weeks to actually see each other once we decide to meet up. That is how busy she usually is.
She happily agreed to meet me this time within a time span of an hour. We had a lovely time catching up. We talked about about all kinds of things.
And we even came to the conclusion that we had been friends for over 4 years.
It was great just doing something on the whim today. I really should do it more often again.